Last night was a wonderful men's group. There was an open dialogue about Romans 13 and authentic conversation about our personal spiritual lives, church, and the need to represent Christ rightly to our world.
the highlight was a time of prayer for and with each other.
I want to encourage our church family to see the value of developing deeper relationships with others in a setting where you can be and intentional learner.
I am grateful for all those who signed up to get involved. The next target is all those who are overextended in ministry and/or life commitments who don't have this type of outlet to grow and be recharged. It is a necessary and worthy investment of time.
I can tell a difference in my life when I have placed myself in a position of being the learner. It keeps the right perspective on leading. Just some food for thought.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
serving
I sit in my office early on a Sunday morning wondering how the ministry fair will go. The battle of consumerism in the church is such a real fight in America today. I am encouraged though at progress in key areas.
Our outreach director told me that many ministries are actively seeking ways to reach out beyond the walls of the church. In this way, sunday school classes, small groups, men's, women's, young adults, seniors, teens, children, seniors, and others won't just see their groups as meeting their needs. Growing as a disciple does require learning and building relationships with each other. We don't need to justify or debate the value of these. It's just that they were meant to be in connection with serving others outside the walls of the church.
Just as a plant needs soil, water, and sunlight to grow through photosynthesis, so a disciple grows through the different connections of the church working in harmony with each other. We use the Hand of Fellowship to describe this harmony of disciple growth (Worship Service, Sunday School, Small Groups, Social, Serving). Growing in our relationship with God and with other Chrisians is supposed to be expressed in a growing love and care for our world.
If we just focus on personal growth, then we mistakenly veer into a self-centered Christianity, which is a contradiction. If we just focus on the physical needs of others, without the sharing of Jesus Christ, we miss the point that the transforming change Jesus brings is what our world needs. It isn't either or, it is both/and.
So, I pray today will help connect us with the balance of the Bible in making disciples.
Our outreach director told me that many ministries are actively seeking ways to reach out beyond the walls of the church. In this way, sunday school classes, small groups, men's, women's, young adults, seniors, teens, children, seniors, and others won't just see their groups as meeting their needs. Growing as a disciple does require learning and building relationships with each other. We don't need to justify or debate the value of these. It's just that they were meant to be in connection with serving others outside the walls of the church.
Just as a plant needs soil, water, and sunlight to grow through photosynthesis, so a disciple grows through the different connections of the church working in harmony with each other. We use the Hand of Fellowship to describe this harmony of disciple growth (Worship Service, Sunday School, Small Groups, Social, Serving). Growing in our relationship with God and with other Chrisians is supposed to be expressed in a growing love and care for our world.
If we just focus on personal growth, then we mistakenly veer into a self-centered Christianity, which is a contradiction. If we just focus on the physical needs of others, without the sharing of Jesus Christ, we miss the point that the transforming change Jesus brings is what our world needs. It isn't either or, it is both/and.
So, I pray today will help connect us with the balance of the Bible in making disciples.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Questions about Sermon 10-25-09
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How do you know when you are called?
There is a difference between the universal calling and the individual calling. Jesus gives the same universal calling to everyone. He told His disciples, “Follow Me”. Every person is invited to receive this calling. Out of this relationship, we grow to understand our individual calling. I am assuming this question is referring to the individual calling to some type of ministry. Here are some things to look for in this quest for clarity. While each person is unique, some of these often come into play.
1. Holy Spirit speaking through a variety of settings- many times God will repeat the message through sermons, conversations, Bible passages, events that are not coincidences, etc. People can also sense God speaking to them directly.
2. A burden or compelling desire that doesn’t go away- God begins to give you His heart for preaching, the church, needs of others, specific group, etc. Charles Spurgeon said that if you think you called to be a minister, avoid it. If you know you are called, don’t settle for second best and be a king. Paul said he was compelled by the gospel of Christ. As a pastor, I know that I couldn’t be content or at peace doing anything other than ministry. God has put it into my DNA. Sometimes, it has been the only thing that kept me going in the tough seasons of being a pastor.
3. Gifts- God gives abilities to those He has called. While it is true that He also calls people first, and then equips them, a person’s life should demonstrate a growing ability to serve where called. This comes through training, the Holy Spirit, mentoring, practice, and being teachable. Some think they know more than they do and have to be humbled. Others are more capable than they think and need to be empowered. Others want to serve in a area, but don’t have the ability. I can love to sing, but that doesn’t mean I am called to be the worship pastor. A person has to be willing to have mentors/teachers be ruthlessly honest with them in order to grow and accurately assess a person’s calling.
4. Affirmation through others- sometimes God points out His call on your life to others. We can be insecure or resistant, and others can be used to help clarify this. Although these four aren’t the entire list, it does give you an idea of what to look for.
How do you become a living sacrifice?
Recognize that following God is more than the commitment of a moment. It is also the journey of a lifetime. Sometimes people get discouraged when they make a commitment to God and then expect life’s struggles or the reality of temptations or growing to stop. A living sacrifice allows God continual work to take place. It is marked by both moments of key decisions/surrender, and learning to live that out over the course of life. In the Old Testament, an animal was sacrificed and then its benefit ended. Through Christ, our sin was paid for, so we can live for Christ, even as the “old man” of sin is crucified with Christ.
What does the church have in place to help me in this process of staying on the altar?
Connecting in discipleship relationships is key to this. I encourage you to connect with a Sunday School class and a small group. Sunday School is learning that builds relationships. Small groups is relationships that lead to learning. We have a men’s group, women’s group, two prayer groups, and various other groups. In addition, finding a place to be a servant also helps you keep perspective. If a person is just a consumer, then it is hard to stay on the altar. Being a servant is key. There is no substitute to getting connected relationally and as a servant.
So, how will I know when God is talking to me? How do I know it is His voice
There a couple of important litmus tests for knowing if it is the Lord speaking. First, God will never contradict His Word, the Bible. 2 Peter 1:20-21 makes is clear the Bible is the result of the Holy Spirit inspiring and directing the human beings called to write down the words of Scripture. Sometimes, the answers to our questions are already in the Bible, but we need to be consistent students of the Word of God to understand the will of God.
Second, it is helpful to have other people praying along with you. Proverbs says there is wisdom in the multitude of counselors. When a decision is unclear and we are trying to determine what God has said/led, including mature, Bible-centered Christians is key.
Third, look at where your relationship with God is. If you are walking closely with the Lord, then trust that He will correct your course if you start down the wrong path. In other words, don’t fall into the trap of “paralysis by analysis”. Trust that God loves you and will reveal His will. On the other hand, if you are not living a surrendered life in Christ, God may use the haziness or fogginess of your decision to draw you closer to Him. We often want the answers, but He prioritizes the relationship. Remember to seek Him more than any specific answer. The direction will come.
Is presenting our bodies abstaining from something?
It is both abstaining from what is evil and embracing what is good. That is a paraphrase of Romans 12:9. Romans 6 reminds us to present ourselves as instruments of righteousness. I have had people want a comprehensive list of everything right and wrong to do in life. In some cases, God has declared a clear list of right and wrong. When the Bible speaks to a matter, it is the final authority. In other situations, the Bible teaches us principles that guide us in living a Christ-like life. “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial”, or “I am free, but I don’t use my freedom to make another person stumble”. “Love your neighbor as yourself”. “In honor, prefer one another above yourself”.
We are also to be known by what we embrace, not just what we abstain from. That is why the Bible talks about the “Beattitudes” (Matthew 5), Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5), Gifts of the Spirit (1 Corinthians 12), etc.
How does surrendering ourselves help us know God’s will?
Trying to know God’s will while battling for who is in charge is like driving in a heavy fog. You do your best to navigate the road safely, but it sure isn’t optimal conditions. Also, the risk of crashing is higher. The same is true in life. Living in a fog from a resistant spirit makes it hard to know the will of God
How do you know when you are called?
There is a difference between the universal calling and the individual calling. Jesus gives the same universal calling to everyone. He told His disciples, “Follow Me”. Every person is invited to receive this calling. Out of this relationship, we grow to understand our individual calling. I am assuming this question is referring to the individual calling to some type of ministry. Here are some things to look for in this quest for clarity. While each person is unique, some of these often come into play.
1. Holy Spirit speaking through a variety of settings- many times God will repeat the message through sermons, conversations, Bible passages, events that are not coincidences, etc. People can also sense God speaking to them directly.
2. A burden or compelling desire that doesn’t go away- God begins to give you His heart for preaching, the church, needs of others, specific group, etc. Charles Spurgeon said that if you think you called to be a minister, avoid it. If you know you are called, don’t settle for second best and be a king. Paul said he was compelled by the gospel of Christ. As a pastor, I know that I couldn’t be content or at peace doing anything other than ministry. God has put it into my DNA. Sometimes, it has been the only thing that kept me going in the tough seasons of being a pastor.
3. Gifts- God gives abilities to those He has called. While it is true that He also calls people first, and then equips them, a person’s life should demonstrate a growing ability to serve where called. This comes through training, the Holy Spirit, mentoring, practice, and being teachable. Some think they know more than they do and have to be humbled. Others are more capable than they think and need to be empowered. Others want to serve in a area, but don’t have the ability. I can love to sing, but that doesn’t mean I am called to be the worship pastor. A person has to be willing to have mentors/teachers be ruthlessly honest with them in order to grow and accurately assess a person’s calling.
4. Affirmation through others- sometimes God points out His call on your life to others. We can be insecure or resistant, and others can be used to help clarify this. Although these four aren’t the entire list, it does give you an idea of what to look for.
How do you become a living sacrifice?
Recognize that following God is more than the commitment of a moment. It is also the journey of a lifetime. Sometimes people get discouraged when they make a commitment to God and then expect life’s struggles or the reality of temptations or growing to stop. A living sacrifice allows God continual work to take place. It is marked by both moments of key decisions/surrender, and learning to live that out over the course of life. In the Old Testament, an animal was sacrificed and then its benefit ended. Through Christ, our sin was paid for, so we can live for Christ, even as the “old man” of sin is crucified with Christ.
What does the church have in place to help me in this process of staying on the altar?
Connecting in discipleship relationships is key to this. I encourage you to connect with a Sunday School class and a small group. Sunday School is learning that builds relationships. Small groups is relationships that lead to learning. We have a men’s group, women’s group, two prayer groups, and various other groups. In addition, finding a place to be a servant also helps you keep perspective. If a person is just a consumer, then it is hard to stay on the altar. Being a servant is key. There is no substitute to getting connected relationally and as a servant.
So, how will I know when God is talking to me? How do I know it is His voice
There a couple of important litmus tests for knowing if it is the Lord speaking. First, God will never contradict His Word, the Bible. 2 Peter 1:20-21 makes is clear the Bible is the result of the Holy Spirit inspiring and directing the human beings called to write down the words of Scripture. Sometimes, the answers to our questions are already in the Bible, but we need to be consistent students of the Word of God to understand the will of God.
Second, it is helpful to have other people praying along with you. Proverbs says there is wisdom in the multitude of counselors. When a decision is unclear and we are trying to determine what God has said/led, including mature, Bible-centered Christians is key.
Third, look at where your relationship with God is. If you are walking closely with the Lord, then trust that He will correct your course if you start down the wrong path. In other words, don’t fall into the trap of “paralysis by analysis”. Trust that God loves you and will reveal His will. On the other hand, if you are not living a surrendered life in Christ, God may use the haziness or fogginess of your decision to draw you closer to Him. We often want the answers, but He prioritizes the relationship. Remember to seek Him more than any specific answer. The direction will come.
Is presenting our bodies abstaining from something?
It is both abstaining from what is evil and embracing what is good. That is a paraphrase of Romans 12:9. Romans 6 reminds us to present ourselves as instruments of righteousness. I have had people want a comprehensive list of everything right and wrong to do in life. In some cases, God has declared a clear list of right and wrong. When the Bible speaks to a matter, it is the final authority. In other situations, the Bible teaches us principles that guide us in living a Christ-like life. “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial”, or “I am free, but I don’t use my freedom to make another person stumble”. “Love your neighbor as yourself”. “In honor, prefer one another above yourself”.
We are also to be known by what we embrace, not just what we abstain from. That is why the Bible talks about the “Beattitudes” (Matthew 5), Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5), Gifts of the Spirit (1 Corinthians 12), etc.
How does surrendering ourselves help us know God’s will?
Trying to know God’s will while battling for who is in charge is like driving in a heavy fog. You do your best to navigate the road safely, but it sure isn’t optimal conditions. Also, the risk of crashing is higher. The same is true in life. Living in a fog from a resistant spirit makes it hard to know the will of God
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Worship through serving
On November 8, our church will be having a Ministry Fair during the morning worship service. The goal is to help dozens of people find a place of serving in the church and community through the collective efforts of the local church family.
Serving is a vital aspect of discipleship, and one that is often overlooked in the American church today. Many look for a church as one looks for a car, new outfit, or restaurant. If the service is good, and product is pleasing, we become a customer. For many options like music, programming, dress, age, economics, and location play big parts.
The problem is that these options aren't as vital as we make them. We would be better off if biblical truth, community, and serving were more important. Fighting consumerism in the church is an ongoing battle. A key weapon in that battle is calling people to invest in their spiritual journey through learning, relationships, and serving others.
Your area of serving might be just what your church has been waiting for. It could open up a new ministry opportunity or help support and strengthen an existing one.
So, fight the tendency to walk in the church like it is a movie, restaurant, or store to critique. Be intentional about being a servant who learns, builds relationships with God and others, and is willing and active in being a servant to others.
Serving is a vital aspect of discipleship, and one that is often overlooked in the American church today. Many look for a church as one looks for a car, new outfit, or restaurant. If the service is good, and product is pleasing, we become a customer. For many options like music, programming, dress, age, economics, and location play big parts.
The problem is that these options aren't as vital as we make them. We would be better off if biblical truth, community, and serving were more important. Fighting consumerism in the church is an ongoing battle. A key weapon in that battle is calling people to invest in their spiritual journey through learning, relationships, and serving others.
Your area of serving might be just what your church has been waiting for. It could open up a new ministry opportunity or help support and strengthen an existing one.
So, fight the tendency to walk in the church like it is a movie, restaurant, or store to critique. Be intentional about being a servant who learns, builds relationships with God and others, and is willing and active in being a servant to others.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Prayer Points
Praise- Take time to walk through areas in your life and give thanks to God for all He has done. Praise God for His qualities and attributes. Praise Him for His love and truth.
Think back over the year since our last prayer walk and give thanks to God for what has happened.
Intercession
Church Family
Physical needs- Klooster, Frank, Newcomb, Agee, Wilson
Strength of marriages, family, and friendships
Spiritual growth
Bold proclamation of God’s Word
Worship Service, Sunday School, Small Groups, Service Opportunities, Social Times
Neighborhood
Spiritual, Relational, and Physical needs
Spiritual bondage
To be drawn to Christ
City- As the Lord leads
Nation- Repentance, and as the Lord leads
World- As the Lord leads
Persecuted Church- their faithfulness, boldness, and provisions
Suffering of others- their needs and our hearts towards them
Loved ones who don’t know Christ
Sharing- As you talk with others who are in your prayer time, target your conversation to topics that connect to the focus of this day.
Scriptures of special meaning
Testimony
Needs to be prayed for
Encouragement
Praise- Take time to walk through areas in your life and give thanks to God for all He has done. Praise God for His qualities and attributes. Praise Him for His love and truth.
Think back over the year since our last prayer walk and give thanks to God for what has happened.
Intercession
Church Family
Physical needs- Klooster, Frank, Newcomb, Agee, Wilson
Strength of marriages, family, and friendships
Spiritual growth
Bold proclamation of God’s Word
Worship Service, Sunday School, Small Groups, Service Opportunities, Social Times
Neighborhood
Spiritual, Relational, and Physical needs
Spiritual bondage
To be drawn to Christ
City- As the Lord leads
Nation- Repentance, and as the Lord leads
World- As the Lord leads
Persecuted Church- their faithfulness, boldness, and provisions
Suffering of others- their needs and our hearts towards them
Loved ones who don’t know Christ
Sharing- As you talk with others who are in your prayer time, target your conversation to topics that connect to the focus of this day.
Scriptures of special meaning
Testimony
Needs to be prayed for
Encouragement
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Growing Friendship
I read a comic strip recently that made me laugh, and then made me think. Two guys were sitting at an establishment as one was using the wi-fi connection to check his FaceBook. He announced, "I now have 1000 FaceBook friends". To that his friend responds, "How many of them could you ask to help you move?"
I laughed because it is true that you have to love someone to move a sofa bed or heavy dressers. I began to think about how so many people are looking for community. FaceBook is a wonderful tool of connecting people in networks of relationships. People are reconnecting with people from high school, college, and past places they have lived. Our church is using this tool to build relationships within the church, help each other, pray for each other, and build friendships.
And there some funny polls and games. I do wonder how some of you get any sleep as you are achieving the highest levels of play at the latest game.
All kidding aside, it is vital to build relationships at different levels of closeness in our lives. I like to use the analogy of a house to describe it. There are people who walk by your house every day. You may know the names of some, but others are just faces you recognize. Others you meet at the front door, like sales people, delivery people, and casual acquaintances. If someone knows you better, they get to the living room/kitchen. You share a meal, stories, and build solid friendships. Finally, there are the private rooms of your house, the bedrooms. This is for family. There is privacy and boundaries only offered to a select few. If someone you barely knew came into your house, rummaged through your fridge for food, and then plopped on your bed to watch some television, you would have issues with this. People learn to respect the boundaries of the house. The bedroom is not a sexual reference, but rather an indication of close relationships in the home (parents, children, siblings)
Translate that description to friendships and emotional closeness to people. As you have friends and family at these different levels of relationships, it reflects levels of trust, time, and common ground together. We get hurt in relationships when someone violates trust and hurts us. People who do this are often emotionally moved to a more distant place until trust is earned again. Others who build trust are let in more emotionally. Forgiveness is a gift we must offer because Jesus Christ offered it to us. Trust is a reflection of our emotional and relational safety with someone through experience with them.
Balance is important in relationships. If you have one real close friend, and then some hurtful event happens, extended loneliness can occur because it takes a long time to build a deep friendship with someone else. On the other extreme is the person who has many people at the superficial levels, but no one to walk through the hardest times of life with.
How would your relational house be populated? Are there folks at the front walk, front door, living room, and bedrooms? You might want to look at your FaceBook list and see how those relationships would be placed in your house. Whether it is a church, home, work, etc. we want our relationships to have integrity, purity, and be God-honoring. This can happen at different levels of closeness.
Well, that's all for now. Think on that for a while and let me know what you think
I laughed because it is true that you have to love someone to move a sofa bed or heavy dressers. I began to think about how so many people are looking for community. FaceBook is a wonderful tool of connecting people in networks of relationships. People are reconnecting with people from high school, college, and past places they have lived. Our church is using this tool to build relationships within the church, help each other, pray for each other, and build friendships.
And there some funny polls and games. I do wonder how some of you get any sleep as you are achieving the highest levels of play at the latest game.
All kidding aside, it is vital to build relationships at different levels of closeness in our lives. I like to use the analogy of a house to describe it. There are people who walk by your house every day. You may know the names of some, but others are just faces you recognize. Others you meet at the front door, like sales people, delivery people, and casual acquaintances. If someone knows you better, they get to the living room/kitchen. You share a meal, stories, and build solid friendships. Finally, there are the private rooms of your house, the bedrooms. This is for family. There is privacy and boundaries only offered to a select few. If someone you barely knew came into your house, rummaged through your fridge for food, and then plopped on your bed to watch some television, you would have issues with this. People learn to respect the boundaries of the house. The bedroom is not a sexual reference, but rather an indication of close relationships in the home (parents, children, siblings)
Translate that description to friendships and emotional closeness to people. As you have friends and family at these different levels of relationships, it reflects levels of trust, time, and common ground together. We get hurt in relationships when someone violates trust and hurts us. People who do this are often emotionally moved to a more distant place until trust is earned again. Others who build trust are let in more emotionally. Forgiveness is a gift we must offer because Jesus Christ offered it to us. Trust is a reflection of our emotional and relational safety with someone through experience with them.
Balance is important in relationships. If you have one real close friend, and then some hurtful event happens, extended loneliness can occur because it takes a long time to build a deep friendship with someone else. On the other extreme is the person who has many people at the superficial levels, but no one to walk through the hardest times of life with.
How would your relational house be populated? Are there folks at the front walk, front door, living room, and bedrooms? You might want to look at your FaceBook list and see how those relationships would be placed in your house. Whether it is a church, home, work, etc. we want our relationships to have integrity, purity, and be God-honoring. This can happen at different levels of closeness.
Well, that's all for now. Think on that for a while and let me know what you think
Thursday, September 10, 2009
keep it real
Lately, my interactions with others in ministry have been around the theme of being authentic and real in our relationships with others and the Lord. Being authentic with the Lord centers around His call to transform our lives through journey with Him that began with surrender to the saving and forgiving work of Jesus Christ. Authenticity with others is desiring that our relationships forge deep bonds of friendship in which we are both available in times of need and challenged to grow. Conflict is a reality of life. How we handle it will either help foster relationships or contribute to their demise.
Here are few principles to consider in seeking authenticity with God and others in the midst of challenges:
1. Be honest with yourself about what is really going on inside of you. Far too many times, we react to situations and then try to justify our reactions and defend our position. Ask God to help you understand why you react the way you do. Sometimes, conversations or events trigger memories of past hurt, sin, or insecurities. We haul the past into the present and it can skew our reactions. Other times, we discover that God is placing in us a deeply held conviction or calling. Learning how to express it in a way that brings God glory is a key.
2. Be honest with others- At times, we can respond in a way that seems kind, but isn't reflecting how we are truly thinking. While I don't advocate publically humiliating people, I do think there are appropriate ways to find the right time and place to disagree agreeably. Here is the challenge we face. If we explode at others, we aren't dealing with the deep issues at hand, but letting an initial vent define the moment. If we avoid an issue, we give a false sense of agreement that isn't real. Timing, delivery, and speaking the truth in love are all key factors in this. Reflect to see if your relationships with others demonstrate honesty.
3. Be full of grace- There are times when it is appropriate to let an irritation go because you can't choose every battle. Far too often though, we don't let it go, but store it up for later as ammunition in a future argument. Remember, Christians have been forgiven a debt of sin we could never repay. We accepted a gift we do not deserve. Learn to give grace as well as receive it. Even when you have to confront issues or exercise discipline, make it about the other person, not the venting of your anger or demonstrating your authority. Use your position and power in life for the benefit of others and do it out of grace.
4. Be a manager (steward), not an owner- Being responsible is right. Being obsessed with control is not. Remember, everything we have is the Lord's. Manage it well but hold onto to it loosely enough so it doesn't control you.
5. Remember the bottom line- relationships with God and others. There are times we have to risk relationships with others to speak God's Truth as found in His word. Try to reserve those "line in the sand" moments for when it is really needed. Far too often, our lines in the sand are of our making, not the Lord.
Although I haven't mastered all of this, I do spend a lot of time dealing with people who are in conflict with God and/or others. These principles have helped me immensely. I hope they help you as well.
Here are few principles to consider in seeking authenticity with God and others in the midst of challenges:
1. Be honest with yourself about what is really going on inside of you. Far too many times, we react to situations and then try to justify our reactions and defend our position. Ask God to help you understand why you react the way you do. Sometimes, conversations or events trigger memories of past hurt, sin, or insecurities. We haul the past into the present and it can skew our reactions. Other times, we discover that God is placing in us a deeply held conviction or calling. Learning how to express it in a way that brings God glory is a key.
2. Be honest with others- At times, we can respond in a way that seems kind, but isn't reflecting how we are truly thinking. While I don't advocate publically humiliating people, I do think there are appropriate ways to find the right time and place to disagree agreeably. Here is the challenge we face. If we explode at others, we aren't dealing with the deep issues at hand, but letting an initial vent define the moment. If we avoid an issue, we give a false sense of agreement that isn't real. Timing, delivery, and speaking the truth in love are all key factors in this. Reflect to see if your relationships with others demonstrate honesty.
3. Be full of grace- There are times when it is appropriate to let an irritation go because you can't choose every battle. Far too often though, we don't let it go, but store it up for later as ammunition in a future argument. Remember, Christians have been forgiven a debt of sin we could never repay. We accepted a gift we do not deserve. Learn to give grace as well as receive it. Even when you have to confront issues or exercise discipline, make it about the other person, not the venting of your anger or demonstrating your authority. Use your position and power in life for the benefit of others and do it out of grace.
4. Be a manager (steward), not an owner- Being responsible is right. Being obsessed with control is not. Remember, everything we have is the Lord's. Manage it well but hold onto to it loosely enough so it doesn't control you.
5. Remember the bottom line- relationships with God and others. There are times we have to risk relationships with others to speak God's Truth as found in His word. Try to reserve those "line in the sand" moments for when it is really needed. Far too often, our lines in the sand are of our making, not the Lord.
Although I haven't mastered all of this, I do spend a lot of time dealing with people who are in conflict with God and/or others. These principles have helped me immensely. I hope they help you as well.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
glove or mitten
At Mountain View, we emphasize a relationship building approach called the Hand of Fellowship. Each finger of the Hand represents differents aspects of relationships in the church. They are the worship service, Sunday School, Small Groups, Social Activities, and Serving Others in a Ministry. A ministry can be inside or outside the walls of the church.
Let me point out a couple of principles that will help you understand how to maximize relationship building.
First, have realistic expectations for the setting you are in. Many times, people look to the worship service as the primary vehicle for getting to know people, but this can be difficult. First, it is the largest group gathering of the week, so some find a crowd harder to navigate. Second, the main focus on the worship service is our collective worship offered to the Lord. Because of this, siginificant portions of time are spent on using music, scripture, prayer, and teaching to point us towards this. Times before and after services or at an altar praying provide interludes of people time, but the audience of the service is God, and we are the worshippers.
This is why participating in other settings is key in building relationships. Whether you try Sunday School or a Small Group, either or both can be a time to get to know others in a smaller setting. Also, Social Gatherings provide a chance to be together. Conversations and friendships happen more organically and naturally. Room is left for people to connect on their terms. Serving in a ministry allows you to share common values of giving to others. Many relationships grow here because of these common bonds. Whether it is a common conviction to reach an age group, those in need, or expressing gifts and abilities for God's glory, you can build relationships.
The second principle is to see the Hand of Fellowship like a mitten instead of a glove. When you wear a glove, each finger in warmed separately from the other. In a mitten, there in warmth through interdependence and connection. Try not to compartmentalize your church interactions. People in the same Sunday School class or Small Group can also serve others together or get together socially outside of Sunday mornings. Groups that serve together can also pray and learn more of the Lord together in discipleship. The Hand of Fellowship is meant to be interrelated and interconnected. People who talk after worship service can connect on Facebook or get together for a meal.
Last Sunday, I read an anonymous letter in church of someone who came to our church for a few months and then left because they felt lonely and unnecessary. I was deeply saddened that we had failed to build relationships effectively with this person. I apologize to him/her for our failure and pray God will lead them to a church where this can happen more effectively. After I read the letter, I talked candidly about how relationships involve both the willingness to go beyond the circle of those who are familiar and the willingness to do more than sit back and wait for others to come to you. It is mutual effort. I acknowledged that some people have been hurt before in their pursuit of relationships at churches, ours included. But, loneliness and isolation are a worse option than trying again and risking hurt, in my opinion.
So, I encourage you to keep building relationships with others. If you are openly social, ask God to help you notice others who need to be reached out to. If you tend to sit back and play it safe, ask God to help you to take a risk and reach out as well. With God's help, we can grow as a community of believers who are known for their love for each other and for the world around them. I praise God for where this is happening effectively, and ask Him to help us grow where it is not.
Let me point out a couple of principles that will help you understand how to maximize relationship building.
First, have realistic expectations for the setting you are in. Many times, people look to the worship service as the primary vehicle for getting to know people, but this can be difficult. First, it is the largest group gathering of the week, so some find a crowd harder to navigate. Second, the main focus on the worship service is our collective worship offered to the Lord. Because of this, siginificant portions of time are spent on using music, scripture, prayer, and teaching to point us towards this. Times before and after services or at an altar praying provide interludes of people time, but the audience of the service is God, and we are the worshippers.
This is why participating in other settings is key in building relationships. Whether you try Sunday School or a Small Group, either or both can be a time to get to know others in a smaller setting. Also, Social Gatherings provide a chance to be together. Conversations and friendships happen more organically and naturally. Room is left for people to connect on their terms. Serving in a ministry allows you to share common values of giving to others. Many relationships grow here because of these common bonds. Whether it is a common conviction to reach an age group, those in need, or expressing gifts and abilities for God's glory, you can build relationships.
The second principle is to see the Hand of Fellowship like a mitten instead of a glove. When you wear a glove, each finger in warmed separately from the other. In a mitten, there in warmth through interdependence and connection. Try not to compartmentalize your church interactions. People in the same Sunday School class or Small Group can also serve others together or get together socially outside of Sunday mornings. Groups that serve together can also pray and learn more of the Lord together in discipleship. The Hand of Fellowship is meant to be interrelated and interconnected. People who talk after worship service can connect on Facebook or get together for a meal.
Last Sunday, I read an anonymous letter in church of someone who came to our church for a few months and then left because they felt lonely and unnecessary. I was deeply saddened that we had failed to build relationships effectively with this person. I apologize to him/her for our failure and pray God will lead them to a church where this can happen more effectively. After I read the letter, I talked candidly about how relationships involve both the willingness to go beyond the circle of those who are familiar and the willingness to do more than sit back and wait for others to come to you. It is mutual effort. I acknowledged that some people have been hurt before in their pursuit of relationships at churches, ours included. But, loneliness and isolation are a worse option than trying again and risking hurt, in my opinion.
So, I encourage you to keep building relationships with others. If you are openly social, ask God to help you notice others who need to be reached out to. If you tend to sit back and play it safe, ask God to help you to take a risk and reach out as well. With God's help, we can grow as a community of believers who are known for their love for each other and for the world around them. I praise God for where this is happening effectively, and ask Him to help us grow where it is not.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
It's hard to smell the flowers on the interstate
I just returned from taking my oldest child to college. It hit me the other day that I now have a child in college, one in high school, another in junior high, and one in elementary school. Life is moving fast. I also know that my responsibilities as pastor require a lot of my time.
In the middle of all this activity, there is the underlying invitiation of God to spend time with Him. There is the knowledge and nagging that spending significant time in prayer interceding for our church is vital and part of my biblical job description as a pastor. My children need time with their father, and my wife and I need time together. Finally, I am blessed with friends and time with them builds the relationships.
Hearing these invitations to relationships in the midst of a busy life is like trying to smell roadside flowers while driving down the interstate. They are a quickly passing voice if I don't slow down and take notice.
I imagine the same is true for many of you as well. You are busy with your job, family, church, and other activities. In the midst of the activity, God and others are inviting you into relationship. You need it and God calls you to it. So, what are some keys to taking time for what is necessary while the urgent screams at you every day? Here are a few thoughts to ponder.
1. Know that without the presence and power of God, your activities become nothing more than human efforts. Although God is with you, you want to do more than ask Him to bless what you are already doing. Set aside time in your schedule for Him and you. I find that I can tell when I am prayer walking and reading my Bible enough. There is an underlying peace in the midst of the busyness. When I am not, I get more irritable and weary. God allows me to experience this so that I will not forget from where my strength comes from. How about you? What are the symptoms in your life when you are or are not spending time with the Lord?
2. Look for divine appointments. I find that if I am open to God interrupting my day, I tend to recognize relational opportunties easier and find them fulfilling rather than an obligation. The other day, one of my daughters asked if we could play basketball that day. I looked forward to it. I was visiting a church family and used this reason as my rationale for leaving when I did. Not only did they support me in it, they about kicked me out of their house so I could go play with her. Ironically, when I arrived home to shoot hoops, most of the family joined in.
Yesterday, a man was having car troubles and had pulled onto our street to trouble shoot the issues. Turned out, he needed gas. I was able to empty my gas can for the mower into his truck, and found out he lived about six blocks away and grew up on my street years ago. I let him know where I was pastor. He was running late to get his son to football practice, so we shook hands and he left. Who knows how God can use that moment some time down the road.
This morning, a retired missionary called me. We had spent time in Albania together over my three trips there from 1994-1996. He had made contact with a common Albanian friend whom I hadn't talked to in years. He is living in Syracuse, New York with his wife and two sons. I am looking forward to reconnecting with him by phone and email. Divine appointments come in all forms. Be open to them.
3. Be willing to be flexible with your leisure time and evaluate your schedule. I love to escape into a movie, sporting event, or good t.v. show. However, in the busy seasons, I have to be selective on what I do. I play soccer in the evenings, mostly after the kids are settled down. I watch less on television/movies in the busy seasons because time with the family and friends takes priority. Sometimes, I have to turn down things. I am not coaching club soccer this fall. I knew that I couldn't balance things and do that as well.
What do you do to strive for balance?
In the middle of all this activity, there is the underlying invitiation of God to spend time with Him. There is the knowledge and nagging that spending significant time in prayer interceding for our church is vital and part of my biblical job description as a pastor. My children need time with their father, and my wife and I need time together. Finally, I am blessed with friends and time with them builds the relationships.
Hearing these invitations to relationships in the midst of a busy life is like trying to smell roadside flowers while driving down the interstate. They are a quickly passing voice if I don't slow down and take notice.
I imagine the same is true for many of you as well. You are busy with your job, family, church, and other activities. In the midst of the activity, God and others are inviting you into relationship. You need it and God calls you to it. So, what are some keys to taking time for what is necessary while the urgent screams at you every day? Here are a few thoughts to ponder.
1. Know that without the presence and power of God, your activities become nothing more than human efforts. Although God is with you, you want to do more than ask Him to bless what you are already doing. Set aside time in your schedule for Him and you. I find that I can tell when I am prayer walking and reading my Bible enough. There is an underlying peace in the midst of the busyness. When I am not, I get more irritable and weary. God allows me to experience this so that I will not forget from where my strength comes from. How about you? What are the symptoms in your life when you are or are not spending time with the Lord?
2. Look for divine appointments. I find that if I am open to God interrupting my day, I tend to recognize relational opportunties easier and find them fulfilling rather than an obligation. The other day, one of my daughters asked if we could play basketball that day. I looked forward to it. I was visiting a church family and used this reason as my rationale for leaving when I did. Not only did they support me in it, they about kicked me out of their house so I could go play with her. Ironically, when I arrived home to shoot hoops, most of the family joined in.
Yesterday, a man was having car troubles and had pulled onto our street to trouble shoot the issues. Turned out, he needed gas. I was able to empty my gas can for the mower into his truck, and found out he lived about six blocks away and grew up on my street years ago. I let him know where I was pastor. He was running late to get his son to football practice, so we shook hands and he left. Who knows how God can use that moment some time down the road.
This morning, a retired missionary called me. We had spent time in Albania together over my three trips there from 1994-1996. He had made contact with a common Albanian friend whom I hadn't talked to in years. He is living in Syracuse, New York with his wife and two sons. I am looking forward to reconnecting with him by phone and email. Divine appointments come in all forms. Be open to them.
3. Be willing to be flexible with your leisure time and evaluate your schedule. I love to escape into a movie, sporting event, or good t.v. show. However, in the busy seasons, I have to be selective on what I do. I play soccer in the evenings, mostly after the kids are settled down. I watch less on television/movies in the busy seasons because time with the family and friends takes priority. Sometimes, I have to turn down things. I am not coaching club soccer this fall. I knew that I couldn't balance things and do that as well.
What do you do to strive for balance?
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
I was having a conversation with a church leader and we were talking about various methods used by churches. We discussed music styles, methods of building relationships, organizational methods, preaching, etc. Words like relevant, contemporary, traditional, and generational were thrown around.
Then, the conversation turned when I asked this question: "What would it take for you to get excited about church again"? With conviction and passion he answered, "I want there to be the annointing of God". The annointing of God? What does that mean? It refers to God's presence and power being evident in a gathering of His people or in a person individually.
Throughout scripture, something special happened when God's presence was evident. The world was created, people were saved, healed, and delivered. Although God is All-Present, human beings are not always aware of His presence. We know it in our minds, but don't always experience it in our lives.
To say that people want "annointing" at church is to say that we don't want to just go through the motions. We aren't just doing church. God makes His presence and power known and felt and it impacts us, changes us, and leads us to worship the Lord.
Here's the catch. We can't manufacture or fake this. Humans can't produce it or conjure it up. It must be sought from God, asked for by His people and wanted by His people. God can reveal His presence in the quiet of solitude or in the celebration of song in church. It can be in a large group, small group, in the life of an individual. His annointing melts our hearts and transforms our minds. It touches us at our place of need and areas that must change.
Although it is an assumption that we want this, we have made this a more intentional part of our prayers for the church. We have been praying for this in the lives of the people of the church. When you leave church on Sundays, you enter your place of representing Christ to others. This includes family, school, work, and all parts of life. If people see His presence in our lives by the way we live, work, and serve others, it points them toward Him.
So, here's the invitation of this blog. Ask God to make His presence and power more evident in your life, home and church. Ask Him to "annoint" your worship, work, and relationships with His guidance. Believe that He wants this for you because He does. I warn you though. As the light of His presence shines on your life, it reveals where we are still a work in progress; where sin and self are still the focus. He loves you right where you are, but He loves you too much to leave you there. But isn't that what we know we need? More of Him and less of us.
What do you think? Post your thoughts.
Then, the conversation turned when I asked this question: "What would it take for you to get excited about church again"? With conviction and passion he answered, "I want there to be the annointing of God". The annointing of God? What does that mean? It refers to God's presence and power being evident in a gathering of His people or in a person individually.
Throughout scripture, something special happened when God's presence was evident. The world was created, people were saved, healed, and delivered. Although God is All-Present, human beings are not always aware of His presence. We know it in our minds, but don't always experience it in our lives.
To say that people want "annointing" at church is to say that we don't want to just go through the motions. We aren't just doing church. God makes His presence and power known and felt and it impacts us, changes us, and leads us to worship the Lord.
Here's the catch. We can't manufacture or fake this. Humans can't produce it or conjure it up. It must be sought from God, asked for by His people and wanted by His people. God can reveal His presence in the quiet of solitude or in the celebration of song in church. It can be in a large group, small group, in the life of an individual. His annointing melts our hearts and transforms our minds. It touches us at our place of need and areas that must change.
Although it is an assumption that we want this, we have made this a more intentional part of our prayers for the church. We have been praying for this in the lives of the people of the church. When you leave church on Sundays, you enter your place of representing Christ to others. This includes family, school, work, and all parts of life. If people see His presence in our lives by the way we live, work, and serve others, it points them toward Him.
So, here's the invitation of this blog. Ask God to make His presence and power more evident in your life, home and church. Ask Him to "annoint" your worship, work, and relationships with His guidance. Believe that He wants this for you because He does. I warn you though. As the light of His presence shines on your life, it reveals where we are still a work in progress; where sin and self are still the focus. He loves you right where you are, but He loves you too much to leave you there. But isn't that what we know we need? More of Him and less of us.
What do you think? Post your thoughts.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
new daily blog
We will post a blog daily to the church Facebook page. We invite to you respond to it and join our online community.
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